Welcome to the Friends of the Visitors!  Here you can gather exciting news and information regarding Earth’s newest arrivals, the Visitors!  The 1983 documentary “V” chronicled their triumphant arrival, and it’s been a non-stop adventure since!  Unfortunately, the Scientists and their terrorist sympathizers have tried to paint a negative image of these brave aliens, so we’re here to help clear things up.

Soon to Feature interviews with important Visitors, colorful pictures and diagrams of Visitor spacecraft, and a fascinating look into the brethren race who have brought so much to our planet!

Join the Friends of the Visitors!  There’s something for everyone.  For kids, we have The Visitor Youth Movement, for senior citizens, The Visitor Welcoming Committee.  Join now, and receive your very own Friends membership sticker.  Place the sticker on your automobile, bicycle or clothing and receive special status and the opportunity to win prizes from our new friends!  As a member, you can join in fun and exciting FotV  (Friends of the Visitors) games and activities including “Visitor Tag“, “Pin the Tail on the Crivit“, and “Inform on your Parents“.  For more information, contact your nearest Visitor FotV recruitment center, ask a Visitor Block Safety Monitor, or click here.

More info and pictures to come soon.  In the meantime, remember to eat hearty and report any suspicious activity.  It’s for your safety!

The overwhelming interest in this exciting new offering has clogged our phone lines!  We’ve expanded the program even further and have opened it up to teenagers too!

We relish the opportunity to bring more people aboard and can’t wait to see you!

We are pleased to bring you the new Peace Ambassador program!  Through this, you can gain exciting new insight into the many benefits the Visitors bring us, and take interesting news of what’s happening with our alien friends back to your community.

We look forward to seeing you aboard, and we know that this will help us serve mankind even better than before.

We are please to present a preview of the new community action posters, going up in your neighborhood soon!  This inspirational painting shows a Visitor hard at work to help rebuild a financially impacted region.

It is hoped that this will remind more citizens of the great contributions The Visitors make to us selflessly every day:

We’ve been offline for almost 10 years due to aggressive attacks by anti-peace Scientist sympathizers.  Some of our news items will reflect this, but the ideals they embody live on!  Our peaceful visitors from the stars need our protection, so we’re back!

“We’ll take him”, offer Visitors.

Miami, FL – Elian Gonzalez, the Cuban child found clinging to an inner-tube off the Florida shore after his mother and others drowned while attempting to reach the United States, has been offered a new hope by the Visitors.

“We understand that these are trying times,” spoke Visitor attache William to a reporter in Miami earlier this afternoon.  “On our home planet, we have harmony between all land masses, but while your political feuding is confusing to us, we feel we may have an ideal solution to this problem.”  The Visitors understand that both sides of this issue have strong feelings on whether he belongs in the United States or in Cuba.  In response, they offered this gracious solution.  “No matter which country Elian moves to, he will be hounded by people who object to the final decision.  If he is located to the United States, pro-Castro activists will picket his home and possibly threaten his safety.  If he is sent back to Cuba, the same could occur from cuban exiles and Anti-Castro terrorists.  We have decided to help.   We would be glad to take the poor child Elian ourselves and offer him the safe haven he needs.”

The Visitors will be giving both him and his father an education and anonymous placement somewhere within the country of their choice so that they will not suffer at the hands of protesters from either side.  Their hope is to allow them total refuge from protesters and newsmen wherever they settle.  Given new identities, the two will be able to start a whole new life, undiscovered by the unforgiving lense of global media.

“This is a tough situation, but we feel we must help.  Once they are safely with us, nobody will ever be able to bother them again.”

NASA-built spacecraft involved in unsuccessful attack

PASADENA, CA – Enraged Earth scientists unsuccessfully attacked a peaceful Visitor outpost on Mars earlier this week. Apparently angered by the brave Visitor shuttle crew that attempted to rescue their Mars Climate Orbiter flub earlier this year, the incensed Earth scientists launched a strike against the peaceful Visitor agricultural colony on Mars.

“We have a small crew of Visitor crew developing important agricultural techniques on the Martian poles”, said Scientific Visitor spokesman Albert earlier this afternoon at a press conference. “The NASA attack vessel was aimed at one of our life domes and might have posed a threat if it had survived its passage through the atmosphere. Luckily, one of our survey shuttles in the vicinity happened to have a construction laser that the ingenious Visitor crew was able to convert into a primitive defense laser in time to disable the attack craft. It was then retrieved and brough back to Earth for investigation.

“We are saddened by the continued efforts of the scientists to interfere with our peaceful mission, but we won’t let them get in the way of us serving mankind in the best way possible.” Despite their claims, Visitor spokesman Albert says that the JPL (Jet Propulsion Laboratory, the specific team in charge of the ‘Mars Polar Lander’ project) team in Pasadena was in full control of their attack craft as it plunged towards its destiny with destruction. Visitor spokesperson Diana of Los Angeles was clear on her opinion of the team of treacherous scientists. “Even though they’ve scurried into hiding like insects, we will find them, and we will bring them to justice.”

In light of the attack, it seems prudent to take firmer measures against possible future scientist led aggression.  All scientists who have registered their firearms under the new gun-control laws must surrender their weapons immediately or face immediate prosecution. – WP

The first shipments of the new Cancer treatment Antivius are arriving at hospitals around the world.  If you or a loved one is suffering from this terrible disease, be sure to show your FotV sticker at the hospital check-in counter!

Update -
Note: Due to shortages of the cancer serum, preference will be given to relatives and members of the Visitor Youth Group or a related Friends of the Visitors group.  This shortage is temporary and the result of a vicious terrorist attack on a New York serum processing plant last week.

Unfortunately, craft heavily damaged due to scientist’s error

Houston, TX – Facing the dangers of space flight with bravery, a valiant Visitor shuttle crew intercepted the helpless NASA MCO (Mars Climate Orbiter) as it plunged into the treacherous atmosphere of Mars early Wednesday morning.

“We observed the small spacecraft was moving off-course and attempted to warn the NASA scientists, but they foolishly ignored our helpful advice and seemed perfectly willing to allow this $200+ million piece of tax-payer money to spiral out of control in the deadly Martian atmosphere”, the current Visitor Spokesman Jonathan said at a press-conference in Houston, TX.  “So at Diana’s behest, we dispatched a rescue shuttle to carefully move the orbiter away from its trajectory of doom.”

The visitor spokesman dismissed allegations from scientists that a Visitor shuttle had in fact maneuvered the orbiter into a self-destructing course.  “Why would we destroy one of your own spacecraft?” asked Jonathan, puzzled.  “It’s not as if we’re hiding anything.”

Unfortunately, the brief contact with the upper Martian atmosphere was too much for some of the MCO’s delicate antennae, so all images of Mars will be provided by the Visitors.  They will be stationing a small satellite of their own in the orbit intended for the Climate Orbiter.

Personnel interested in these images should call their local Friends of the Visitors public relations bureau.